Divergence Zone

I've often wondered what my future holds. Well, who doesn't?

Lately, questions about the future have been swarming my mind. It keeps on pouring in that it makes my head ache. And my heart as well, I guess. I'm scared, ecstatic and excited at the same time. My emotions were flowing out like endless rain into a bucket. I'm practically on the verge of an emotional breakdown (well, sort of).

My friends have heard of my dilemma eons ago: my decision that is teetering between Art and Science. They've already chided me that I could simultaneously pursue both theater and medicine. Yes, I am fairly sure that I could. However, I do not want to simply be mediocre in both of these fields. As any ambitious human being, I prefer to excel. To make a lasting name. It is quite difficult to excel if my attention is diverted to two things I both love. Ouch.

I already experienced first-hand the difficulty of combining my passion and soon-to-be-profession. It was difficult but fulfilling, nonetheless. Here's the schedule I usually have when a production comes up:

• After class (5:50pm), go to rehearsals(7:00pm)
• Location A: DLSU-M to Location B: Bulacan
• Rehearsals will end around 10:30pm (if unlucky, 11:30pm)
• Exams or homework to be submitted the other day
• Wake up at 4:45am or 5am
• Be on my way to school by 6am

It is quite difficult to keep up with my studies. Thank God, I was blessed with some intelligence. Or perhaps I should thank my parents for the genes. Stock knowledge is my lifeline in college and has never failed me yet. Since I never study (no seriously, I couldn't), my hope for exams is the retained knowledge from lectures I painstakingly listened to and some light reading during the LRT ride on my way to school. Though, I'm not really sure if this will apply to med school. Uh-oh.

(Well, I admit I failed one subject. INOCHE2 with Sir Alea. I intentionally cut his class to make way for my dubbing dreams back then so its not technically counted! No stock knowledge! LOL.)

I am now faced with a life-altering decision that I thought I have already decided on before. It was just a prelude when I was forced to make a choice between entering UP-Diliman to take Theater Arts or DLSU-M for Biology. Now, I need to make a choice whether to pursue medicine or Theater Arts outside the country. To pursue my passion, I need to leave everything behind. I almost teared up when Von (a very special person) showed his support with a sad smile. "Edi iiwan mo na ako no?" He jokingly said. Even my parents are very supportive and I'm thankful for that.

But everything falls upon my shoulders.

The deadline is fast approaching.

Oh my.